I did my best. I honestly did. And I never, ever took anyone for granted.
this is the worst part of the hell of having something like bipolar. Knowing that you will never be good enough and that there is someone ten times better than you can ever be, because your own mind is too damaged and diseased and God won't tell you why He allowed it.
I know of no more damning feeling than to be thought of as a monster, as a fraud and a fake, as a person who isn't doing what he can to seek after Christ first, by those that he has cared for most and the ones who he would do anything to let them see the real essence of who I am.
I am not a perfect person. I haven't and never will claim to be that. But, I have tried to be a good person and a person who has put God first in all things as best I could.
If you are reading this and you know someone who has bipolar or some other mental illness: please love them in spite of their condition and what it does make them do all too often. Please know that they don't mean to hurt you.
I'm never going to be forgiven for having a mind that turned against me.
Please don't let someone you love go the rest of their life unforgiven. For anything.